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<title>i'll take my heart clean apart (if it helps yours beat) by iwaoiks</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22842982">i'll take my heart clean apart (if it helps yours beat)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwaoiks/pseuds/iwaoiks'>iwaoiks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sort Of, more comfort than hurt tbh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:09:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22842982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwaoiks/pseuds/iwaoiks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa has always been a worrier, but he knows Iwaizumi.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>204</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'll take my heart clean apart (if it helps yours beat)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title from Sleeping At Last's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrDzd4ufypE">Two</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Can I hold your hand?"</p><p>It's a simple question, really, and it's not like Oikawa has never heard it. Some of the girls he's dated before have asked him this while on dates, all averted gazes and rose-coloured cheeks, and Oikawa's always been happy to oblige. Even Oikawa's asked Iwaizumi this question before, whenever he's feeling sappy but doesn't really want to admit it. But this feels... different. Iwaizumi's voice is different.</p><p>Oikawa looks away from the video playing on his phone to stare at him. They're both sprawled on Iwaizumi's bed, Oikawa taking up most of the space as always. Usually, though, Iwaizumi would fight him about it, push him completely off the bed if he has to, but Iwaizumi's been curled up on the far side of the bed next to the wall all night long. Iwaizumi's been quiet all night long, too, and neither of these things have gone over Oikawa's head. Oikawa's always been a worrier, but he knows Iwaizumi. He'd figured his best friend would talk when he was ready, but the question comes as a surprise.</p><p>The lights have already been turned off, and the only light in the room comes from Oikawa's phone, the video a soft lull in the background. Iwaizumi's face is bathed in shadow, lines softened with strokes of black and dark blue. He looks so very, very tired. Iwaizumi has his gaze averted, but there are no rose-coloured cheeks here.</p><p>Oikawa presses the pause button and turns fully so he's lying on his side, and studies Iwaizumi quietly. Iwaizumi is refusing to look at him, and it's a foreign thing, because Iwaizumi has never been anything but headstrong, eyes filled with a fierceness to rival Oikawa's own. So Oikawa nods, a quiet yes to his request. He waits for the other to reach out, because Iwaizumi's always been one step ahead of him, but the boy doesn't move. Oikawa blinks; then he slides his hand across the sheets, and presses his fingers into Iwaizumi's palm. The skin is rough with practice. Oikawa slots his fingers between Iwaizumi's, presses their hands together; Iwaizumi's hand is cold against Oikawa's own.</p><p>Moments pass and they're both quiet, Iwaizumi looking at the tangle of their fingers, Oikawa looking at Iwaizumi. It's not like they've never held hands before. Growing up together means growing past those physical boundaries, and they've both always been pretty touchy, anyway. But it feels different, this time, with the way Iwaizumi asked, and the way he looks like the feel of Oikawa's hand is the only thing keeping his heart rooted in his chest. Oikawa rarely ever sees him like this.</p><p>He squeezes Iwaizumi's hand, and asks, "Is everything okay, Iwa-chan?" in the softest voice he can manage. Iwaizumi blinks slowly, still not looking at Oikawa.</p><p>Then he dips his head down, curling into himself, and rests his forehead against Oikawa's knuckles. "'m just tired, is all," Iwaizumi mumbles against Oikawa's skin, quiet even in the silent night. Oikawa feels his heart sigh in his chest.</p><p>Iwaizumi doesn't move until Oikawa squeezes his hand again, which makes him look up at him, the shadows under his eyes dark in the night. Oikawa tries for a smile, something he hopes is comforting, if not gentle, before he tugs at Iwaizumi's hand. "Can I hold you?" Oikawa asks, and he wants to laugh at how stupid he sounds. Wants to cry at how young Iwaizumi looks, with his eyes so tired and full of something that Oikawa doesn’t have the name for.</p><p>His best friend nods, slow in his movements, and Oikawa scoots over into his space. He wraps his arms around Iwaizumi and tucks his head under his chin, pulls him flush against him. Oikawa can feel Iwaizumi's breath against his chest, can almost hear the solid thrum of Iwaizumi's heartbeat, and this comforts him. If nothing else, Iwaizumi's heart has never failed them. Oikawa's always been a worrier, but knowing Iwaizumi is only this vulnerable around him keeps him steady.</p><p>Because, to be frank, Oikawa's never quite felt like he's good enough. Not even in the mundane things, and certainly not on court. So he trains, and perseveres, and always does as best he can. But it's different with Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi, headstrong with a fierceness in his eyes, who never ever backs down, who is always so fucking brave it's almost god damn biblical, chooses to show the most vulnerable parts of himself only to Oikawa. It feels like a testament of sorts, that if nothing else, Oikawa doesn't have to worry about good or not enough when it comes to Iwaizumi, because at the end of it all, he's the one that gets to cradle Iwaizumi's heavy heart when there's no space left in his chest for it. Oikawa thinks it’s the best fucking thing anyone could ever give him.</p><p>They stay like this until the sun rises, Iwaizumi falling asleep before Oikawa does. Oikawa wakes up first, too, and usually he'd pester Iwaizumi awake just because he's a little shit and Iwaizumi lets him, but today Oikawa doesn't do any such thing. Instead, he reaches out a hand and cards his fingers gently, gently through the locks of Iwaizumi's hair, and Iwaizumi exhales against his touch. Sunlight fills the room through the small window by the bed, and his best friend looks so peaceful in the light, the lines of his face soft with slumber. Oikawa brushes his hand against Iwaizumi's cheekbone, and feels his heart sigh in his chest.</p><p>When Iwaizumi does wake, it’s an unhurried thing, lashes fluttering in the light as Iwaizumi blinks awake. The tiredness in his eyes is gone, and Oikawa thinks it’s adorable how his ears are tinted just the lightest pink when he realizes he fell asleep in Oikawa’s arms. But Iwaizumi doesn’t pull away; instead, he knocks his forehead against Oikawa’s shoulder, and exhales slowly against Oikawa’s chest.</p><p>“Thanks, Shittykawa,” he says, and Oikawa isn’t even mad at the nickname.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*slaps roof of fanfic* this baby can fit so much projection! i wrote this in one night because i was feeling sad and missing iwaizumi. it really do be like that sometimes</p></blockquote></div></div>
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